


Not My Choice

by reigningqueenofwords



Series: The Hawk Twins [48]
Category: Avengers, Marvel
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22424104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords
Relationships: Parker x Reader, clint x nat
Series: The Hawk Twins [48]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1314683
Kudos: 8





	Not My Choice

After Tony helped May clean up, and left, you made your way to Parker’s room. Sitting on the side of his bed, you glanced at him. “I heard you talking to my dad.”

“Y-You did?” He blushed immediately.

You nodded. “I knew you were upset, but I didn’t know it was that bad.” You said sadly. “I’m sorry.” You told him for the millionth time. “I wish I could make this all better.”

“I just feel like it’s my fault because I did suggest it.” He told you honestly.

You shook your head. “I made it happen. I feel like if I had been a virgin, too, you wouldn’t have felt…I dunno…pressured.”

“I didn’t feel pressured.” He sat by you, taking your hand in his. “I just wanted to make sure our first time was amazing, and I didn’t know what I was doing so I wanted it to be in a nice place.”

Leaning your head on his shoulder, you stared at your hand in his. “I feel like I’ve ruined your future.”

He squeezed your hand, shaking his head. “We’re keeping it, right?”

“As scared as I am- I want to.” You admitted. “Do you?”

“I’d feel awful if we didn’t.” He looked down. “We’re not ready, at all. But it’s not the baby’s fault.”

You turned, wrapping your arms around him. “I’m so scared.” You voiced again, feeling like the more you said it, the less you would feel it. It wasn’t working.

“Me, too.” He breathed. “M-Maybe adoption?” He felt guilty for suggesting it.

Feeling your heart clench, your eyes watered. “Is that what you want?” You asked as you pulled back to look at him.

He clutched to your waist. “W-Would you want that?”

You shook your head. “Not really, but if you think that’s the best choice…”

“It’s not my choice.” He breathed.

“This affects us both, Parker.” You pointed to your stomach. “Don’t make it all up to me.” You pleaded. “You’re their father.”

He faltered at that. What kind of father would he be if he was considering giving them up? “Their father…” He repeated. He looked at his walls, filled with random posters and things he enjoyed. He teared up as he thought of the small life inside you. “I want to keep it.” He breathed, picturing the lost time with his own father.

You nodded shortly, relief flooding through you. You leaned your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes. “I’m still sorry.”

“No need to be.” He sighed. “All we can do is learn what we can before they’re here.” He moves so you both were laying down.

The tension was still high as you blinked up at the top bed of his bunk, and you didn’t know if it’d get fixed anytime soon. “I am happy you proposed, though.” You needed something happy to think of.

He squeezed your hand. “I know the timing is rough, but I really had been planning.”

“I believe you. It helped, a lot.” You nodded, feeling a sense of dread wash over you as silence followed. “I’m gonna get ready for bed.” You muttered as you got up.

He nodded, placing his hands on his torso as he stayed laying there. His mind was racing, and he wasn’t sure how he was feeling.

Parker’s silence was killing you, but you wouldn’t force him to talk to you. If he wanted to stay quiet, that was fine. Swallowing, you looked over at him. “Do-do you want me to go back to the tower?”

“When?” He looked at you. “I’m fine with us staying here for the few days that May suggested.”

You shrugged. “I was going to call Tony to come back if you wanted some time to yourself.”

He shook his head. “I don’t think that would help anything.” He told you honestly. “It’s just something that we’ll have to take time with.”

You nodded, getting changed in some of his clothes in effort to calm down in case he didn’t hold you like usual. Once you’d brushed your teeth, you crawled into bed. You gave him his space, but put your hand in the middle like you were reaching for him.

He turned, pulling you closely to his chest instantly. When you wrapped your arms around him, he let out a content sigh. “I’m sorry I’m so off tonight.” He squeezed you. “I’m terrified.” He shrugged. “But I wouldn’t want to be anyway besides by you.”

“I am, too.” You told him, but he already knew that. “I was terrified I’d lose you.”

He shook his head. “I’m sure it’d be easy to up and leave, but I don’t want that. I want you. Us.” His hand went to your midsection for the first time. It gave him butterflies, knowing that there was a life in there. “Him or her.”

You smiled with glassy eyes, kissing him lovingly. Your heart was hammering in your chest from the wave of emotions that had been hitting you all day long.

He stroked your cheek as you kissed, getting emotional himself. He had a feeling things would get worse before they got better, though. Much worse. Shifting to his back, he held you close. “Get some sleep. I know you’re exhausted.”

You nodded, holding onto his hand as you shut your eyes. While your mind was still filled with thoughts, the sleep you needed overpowered that. It didn’t take Parker long to realize that you were asleep, making him smile softly. He hoped you could at least get a good night’s rest. You needed it, and so did the baby. He moved so he was laying face to face with your midsection and he sighed, thoughts going to doctors appointments and restless nights. However, they also went to play grounds and cute clothes. He kissed your middle softly, just wanting them healthy. Would his spider powers go to them? He’d have to ask Bruce about that. He shut his eyes, head nearly on your middle as he relaxed.

* * *

Waking up, you yawned and realized Parker was sleeping, hugging your middle. Smiling softly, you ran your hand through his hair. You hoped every morning would be like this and you closed your eyes as he squeezed you. Hearing a knock at the door, you let out a soft sigh. “Natasha and Bucky are here with breakfast you two.”

You brightened instantly, excited to see them. “Peter.” You shook the brunette. “There’s food out there for us.”

“Nooo.” He groaned, nuzzling into your stomach. “Sleep.” He put a leg over yours, making you chuckled.

“Babe. It’s Nat and Buckkkk.” You rubbed his back. “We can take a nap later, deal?”

“Fine.” He sighed dramatically, shuffling up the bed to give you a good morning peck.

Smiling, you kissed all over his face, feeling much better after sleeping.

He let out a chuckle before pulling you on top of him into a hug. “I love waking up to you.” He ran his hand through your hair. “There’s no one else I’d rather spend my life waking up next to.”

You grinned brightly, kissing his nose. “Me, either. You’re adorable when you sleep.” Your mood was infectious, you could tell, as he smiled brightly in return.

He squeezed your hips. “I love you.” He kissed under your chin.

“I love you, too, Parker.” You replied gently. “Now can we please go eat?”

He chuckled and lifted you off of him, setting you on the floor. “Yes, let’s go get my fiance some food.”

You blushed and smiled widely at the same time, taking his hand. Heading out of the room, you were nervous about seeing the two of them, but were hopeful. You felt they were the most caring, though everyone was pretty nice.

Nat immediately engulfed you in a hug while Bucky sent a playful glare at Parker. “You stole my favorite twin.” He ruffled Parker’s hair. “Now I’m stuck with the brooding one.”

Hearing that, you sagged slightly. “Can I talk to you for a second?” Nat asked, and you simply nodded, following her into the backyard. “Vin knew about you two, didn’t he?”

“What?” You asked, confused.

“You two are closer than anyone I have ever met. There’s no way that he didn’t know you two were sleeping together that night.” You swallowed, turning bright red. “I’m only asking because he’s acting like he’s the victim here.”

You bit your lip. “Promise you won’t tell Dad?” You asked. She gave you a comforting smile and nodded. “I-I asked for the alone time.”

She sighed and cupped your cheeks. “I figured.” She kissed your forehead. “Things happen.” She said softly. “Vin’s blaming himself.”

“He is so mad at me. He said I broke my promise- that no one would find out.” You shrugged. “I kinda did.”

“Have you and Parker talked at all about this?”

You nodded. “Last night we talked about adoption. We decided against it.”

She nodded. “That’s a big decision, but I think a lot of them will be.”

“At first he said it wasn’t his choice to make, but I told him I can’t make it alone. I told him he’s their father, and he looked around his room. He didn’t tell me his reasoning, but when I woke up, he was wrapped around my middle.” You chuckled sadly. “I think it’s because he lost his father.” You said softly.

She stroked your cheek. “He’s a sweet kid, I know he’ll be a good dad. I just hope I can get your dad’s head in the game. He should be a bit happy, he wanted a little one running around.” She shrugged.

You nodded, then stopped. “Wait, what?” You asked, having not been expecting that.

She nodded, figuring she might as well tell you now. “He wanted us to try for kids.” She began explaining. “I wasn’t really up for the idea, and he hasn’t mentioned it since.”

“Huh. I could have seen you with kids, teaching them to hide from him to give him a dose of his own medicine.” You admitted.

She nodded, then shrugged. “Yeah, it might’ve happened at one point…”

You felt your stomach twist, feeling like your pregnancy killed that chance for them.

She shrugged again. “Anyway, let me see that ring.” She held out her hand.

Holding up your hand, your eyes were on your new favorite piece of jewelry. “He said it’s not what he wanted.for me, but he wanted to save money for the baby. I think it’s perfect.”

She smiled. “It is perfect. He’s really thoughtful.” She stood and helped you up. “I’m sure you’re hungry. Bucky picked the food spot.”

“I didn’t realize how hungry I am until I smelled the food.” You chuckled.

She chuckled and led you out where Bucky instantly hugged you. “You’re leaving me.” He said dramatically.

You let out a small noise before chuckling. “Im right here.”

“Yeah but still.” He shrugged. “Not the same.” He went to sit by Nat as Parker helped gather your plate. Now you would have that on your mind, as well. Did Bucky see you completely differently now? As you had claimed this was all on you. You took the blame for your brother by saying he didn’t know, and you claimed it was your idea, making sure they didn’t know Parker mentioned it.

Parker kissed your head as he sat down by you, enjoying the fact that he could be affectionate since your dad wasn’t around. However, he was still terrified of Clint in general.

May kept Bucky and Nat busy with some questions as you ate. She always enjoyed their company, even if it didn’t happen a lot.

Parker squeezed your leg about half way through, silently questioning why you hadn’t spoken. You gave him a sad smile, shaking your head. It was your way of saying you’d talk to him after. He kissed your cheek before going back to eating. “Thanks for breakfast, guys.” He smiled at Nat and Bucky.

Bucky grinned. “We didn’t want May to have to cook for us all.” He pointed out. “And she deserves to be treated to a nice meal now and then.” He winked at her.

May smiled appreciatively. “Well you all save the world now and then, cooking is the least I can do.” She got up to clean the mess before she had to go to work.

“Come home.” Bucky pouted at you randomly, making you raise an eyebrow. “I’m bored.”

“You sound five.” You teased.

“But you’re like my best friend.” It was weird to hear a massive super soldier whining. It was also very amusing. “You’re the least serious of everyone there!”

“I know. But…” You shrugged. “I can’t be that anymore.” You said sadly. “You said it yourself. It’s different now.”

He nodded sadly, standing to help May. Him not telling you that you’d still be good friends hurt, but you weren’t going to push it. You instead picked up your own plate and Parker’s. You wanted to help our May as much as you could.


End file.
